In some countries it is believed that what you do on the first day of the new year, is a kind of “Leitmotiv” for the rest of the year. So, what did you do on January 1, 2015 ?
Do I believe in these things? Well... kind of yes, I guess. So you can imagine how overjoyed, no thrilled I was, when my first day of January was one of excruciating pain and tears. What had happened? Almost over night I was hit by a tendonitis in my right wrist (not quite sure if this is the correct medical term in English) and no, it did not “just happen”; I did have some warning twitches and stabs of pain in my wrist and lower arm but I chose to ignore the signs. You know the “if I ignore it long enough it'll go away” kind of thinking … sometimes it works – does it really ? - but this time it most definitely did not! I woke up on Thursday morning and there was THIS-PAIN in my wrist. And THIS-PAIN got worse and worse. There was a throbbing deep inside my wrist, the wrist feeling warm and there was /is a swelling. This pain made me feel nauseous and feverish and eventually I just burst into tears. …. and took some paracetamol. Iced the joint, put some common comfrey cream on it and eventually it got a wee bit better. Not much though and that night I was mostly awake... the throbbing had come back, I could not find a comfortable position in bed … in short: I felt pretty miserable.
Then finally it was the second of January. We had planned on going shopping. We needed dog food, people food, soft drinks, water... well the usual stuff … but that was totally out of the question. I felt downright sick. Holding the steering wheel? No way, changing gears with the gear shift .. unthinkable! Husband driving? No way! He never made the license – this might hopefully,perhaps change his mind though. No public transport available, we live in the middle of the boonies. The closest towns both approx. 20 km away. What to do? Our saviour was my mum in law who agreed to come to us and take her son shopping AND to drop by the pharmacy on the way to get me some non-steroidal anti-inflammatory meds – as tablets and as a gel to apply on the wrist. Yes, I have had some experience with this condition in the past, but it's a long time ago and never was as bad as this.
The meds help to a certain extent. But the joint needs to be kept quiet. Every move hurts and my hand including fingers is pretty useless. On Monday mum in law will take me to our gp who will hopefully confirm my diagnosis and then probably give me a removable cast and that's that for the next 4-6 weeks.
What a fantastic, pissy way to start the new year, I thought! Depending on others ? Yuck! Having to ask for help ? Oh no … ! Stuck in the house... feeling pretty helpless and … my art ? Was that the message ? Hey lady you are in for a year of fun and games so fasten those seatbelts? Uuuuhhhhgggg <<< groaning loudly and feeling a bit sorry for myself.
And then, this morning I got up and the sun was shining and the yuck snow was melting fast and it was sort of warm outside. My right arm propped on a pillow supported by my left I sat outside for a while and looked at the little clouds floating in the sky and I let my mind drift... here and there, following those clouds.. and then there was this thought: who says you cannot create art? You are also a digital artist aren't you? You are pretty clever with your left hand, you can write with it so why not paint, draw? Are you really SO stranded? What does your condition DO for you? Go ahead, FEEL yourself into this …. and I stopped thinking and just closed my eyes and then after a while there was this AHA feeling taking over. And as this was taking over I could feel a smile spreading on my face... and I went.. ok, one useless hand slows you down but does it stop me from doing anything? Well yes, one or the other smaller thing in the household for instance but there my husband can take over. But art? No! Communicating with friends ? No! Does it force me to stay off facebook, twitter or pinterest? No ! So ???? So it slows me down big time ! Is that bad ? Mh, come to think of it … no not really. If I am forced to work slower, I have to be more focussed on what is really important to me. I cannot let myself be distracted. I need to be patient with my SELF – yes I have learned to be patient with others – I need to be more precise... and I need to learn to delegate and ask for help if necessary.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO simple, isn't it? Then why all this pain? Well I guess I needed this pain to get the message, to pay attention, to tune in to what the Universe was telling me. Without the massiveness and intensity of the pain I would have just kept on ignoring it and waited for it to go away again. My usual method..... I can be pretty thick and stubborn at times...
The consequences? I'll be more focussed on my art. I'll be on facebook but will leave some groups uploading my art to my fanpage, those few remaining groups, my galleries & shops, my blog, pinterest & twitter. I will be creating more digital art for the time being but am looking forward to painting & drawing with my left hand!
YAY ! The Universe has sent me some new adventures and lessons! Thank you for that!
And a Happy New Year to you all :)